I
pray right now to Jesus Christ Our Savior, that He
bless every single person (whether they are
Christian or not) that reads this page! That
HE BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU BEYOND ANYTHING
YOU CAN ASK OR EVEN IMAGINE!
Had a DREAM...
and LOST IT.
God gave me
another DREAM... and it seams that was only
for a Season...
I have helped
people when I didn't have anything to give.
Now my cup runneth DRY!
Now God is
leading me in another direction, but I am
destitute. And I need your help!
Please
pray to our Heavenly Father if you are inclined to
do so, and ask for His guidance on what your
contribution should be. Then obey Him.
Give whatever He impresses upon you to give!
He WILL Bless you Mightily! Even if it is...
Just
$1
Let me tell you
my story...
Click
Here to Skip Story and go to Summary
My Story
The Beginning
Ah, where to
begin?
I am a single mom
with a 13 year old daughter (shivers), living in
Shreveport, Louisiana.
I have been a
Computer Professional since 1985... WOW, that's a
long time!
Let me just start
at the beginning... well not quite... we'll
start when I was 16. That was a long time
ago too.
When I was 16 I
married a man who was 19, and he promised my Dad
that he would make sure that I finished high
school. A month or so after we were married
he demanded that I quit school and get a job.
So, being the naive devoted wife, I did just that
and got my very first J.O.B. at a convenience
store working graveyard shift for minimum wage in
one of the most crime ridden areas of Shreveport.
That was pretty
frightening!
Shortly after
that, I decided that I would take some of my money
and go to business school while I worked.
But just after I started business school my
husband decided to move to Morgan City, Louisiana.
Without a J.O.B.!
My goodness, you
have to grow gills down there to breath!
We went down to
Morgan City, and stayed with my Aunt for a few
days, and my husband found a good J.O.B. at
McDermott fabricating THE BIGGEST drilling rig
platform that had ever been made. It was
impressive by the way, it was 3 football fields
long laying on its side! I was perfectly
elated about his new J.O.B.! We came back to
Shreveport and packed our dollies and dishes and
went to play house in Morgan City.
I tried to start
business school again down there, and 6 months
later, my husband demanded I quit and get a J.O.B.!
Which I did... washing dishes, and washing and
cutting potatoes at Western Sizzlin'. I
found out what KP duty was all about then!
My husband quit
his J.O.B. at McDermott much to my dismay!
That's when he
started Dealing Drugs! I would estimate that
at least a lb. of marijuana went through my house
once a week, and much of it was smoked in the
house. At the time, I did not know that he
was also dealing cocaine!
He collected
unemployment for a while, then went to work
somewhere else. I don't remember where...
he did this so many times, I just can't remember!
About 1 year
after we moved down to Morgan City, I caught my
husband in bed with another woman! Being 17
years old, I was completely devastated!
Right after I caught him, he started beating me on
a regular basis. But I did not leave because
my mother kept talking me out of it. Things
finally came to a head about a year later when I
convinced my mother that it was time to STOP!
So she got on the
phone with my husband, and talked with him for a
long time, and she convinced him that he should
really make an effort to make our marriage work.
So we stayed together...
After we had been
in Morgan City for 2 years, he decided we need to
go on vacation. So we packed up and went on
a ride to Colorado, because that is where I was
raised and he had never been there.
We ended up in
Steamboat Springs, CO, and stayed there for 2
weeks, and it was BEAUTIFUL!!!!
As soon as we go
back home, my husband decided to move to Steamboat
Spring with no job waiting for him!
So we packed up
everything, including his best friend and moved to
Colorado!
We moved into a
condo up there, and it was beautiful and nice.
But it just wasn't right. I had this feeling
of pending doom!
Shortly after
that, I missed my cycle, and knew that I was
pregnant. In fact, I knew in my heart the
morning after I conceived him that I was pregnant,
and I knew it was a boy.
My husband and I
had lots of fights over that because he did not
believe it was his child and he wanted me to get
an abortion. But I would not do that.
My husband got a
J.O.B. there, and made some
"interesting" friends and acquaintances,
and got back into drug dealing also. I saw
some horrible things then. This one fellow
had lost an eye (I don't remember how), but he was
doing some cocaine with my husband and some
"friends" one night, and he took off his
eye patch, and had someone BLOW COCAINE INTO HIS
EYE SOCKET! I was HORRIFIED!
That afternoon,
my husband came home from this fellow's condo, and
he was High as a Kite! I wasn't paying much
attention to him, as I was in the living room
playing with our sweet pit bull puppy, and he was
out on the front balcony... 2.5 floors up
from the ground... I heard him scream, and
looked up and he was gone! He fell off the
balcony, and was lying prostrate on the ground
below, flat on his back!
His best friend
called EMS (at that time they didn't have 911),
and I rushed down to see about my husband.
EMS strapped him to a board, and rushed him off to
the hospital. After the exam and x-rays, the
damage came to 3 broken ribs and 4 cracked
vertebrae!
That night when I
went to bed, and my husband's best friend stayed
up watching TV, and had let the dog out on the
back balcony with the door open. A little
while after I went to bed, my husband's best
friend decided that he was going to sexually
attack me! He pinned me under the covers,
and I kicked, and fought, and screamed...
it's a wonder that the whole world didn't hear me!
But my dog, heard me and came barging into the
bedroom and grabbed my husband's best friend by
the wrist and dragged him off of me! GOOD
DOG!!!!
You might not
imagine that this was possible, but remember that
we're talking about an 8 month old Pit Bull with
jaw strength of 2,000 lbs./sq. in.!!! You
can look that FACT up anywhere!
Jed, my dog... my
sweet dog, literally dragged this man to the floor
and really mangled his arm pretty bad. He
would have done more damage, but I was able to
dislodge the dog from his arm
Like an idiot and
in my already distressed state, I did not call the
authorities on the assault, and attempted rape, I
was more concerned about my husband!
In that little
town, Steamboat Springs, they did not have the
expertise available to take care of the problem,
so they flew my husband to Denver, CO for
treatment. I flew in the plane with him to
Denver, and they med-evac'ed him to the hospital
where they checked him over good, and decided that
he needed surgery.
Since we were now
without money, or employment, we decided the best
thing to do would be to fly him to LSU-MED Center
in Shreveport, LA for the surgery because of their
trauma unit and because they are a charity
hospital.
While this was
going on, his best friend drove to Denver in our
car.
We were flat
broke, so my mother wired me some money to get
back to Steamboat Springs, and move our stuff to
Shreveport, LA where we would live with my parents
indefinitely.
At LSU-MED, they
did surgery on my husband and put two steel rods
in his back.
While he was in
the hospital, I had a pregnancy test done, and
sure enough, I was pregnant.
So here WE are
destitute, on food stamps, living with my parents
and PREGNANT! What an awful situation!
My husband got
out of the hospital a month later, and moved into
my room at my parent's house. He was so
wonderfully sweet, and I thought that just
perhaps, this accident had made him re-evaluate
the way he treated me... i.e. beating me up.
I had a horrible
pregnancy, in bed sick all the time. Then
had a horrible delivery that lasted over 72 hours
and LSU-MED was in the "Dark Ages", and
would not even admit me, much less give me
something for pain. They finally admitted me
after 72 hours, and let me lie there in pain for
another 3 hours before they finally gave me a shot
of 50 mg of Demerol. Let me tell you folks,
that's not much Demerol! They finally broke
my water, and about an hour later I felt the baby
drop into the birth canal. They didn't
believe me so they let me lay there suffering for
another 30 minutes until my mother nearly had a
barn yard full of animals all over the nurses
station.
The got me in the
delivery room, and told me not to push because
they were not ready. YEAH RIGHT! They
finally got the episiotomy done, and we had the
baby... my wonderful little gift from GOD,
Chris!
While they were
sewing me up, they stitched my rectum shut,
unbeknownst to them. The next morning I was
running a fever, so they put me on a table and did
a pelvic, and rectal exam and discovered their BOO
BOO! The had to remove the stitches, and sew
me back up again!
My husband was
wonderful as long as he was in a body cast, and we
were living with my parents. But when the
doctor released him and he found a job, we moved
out into our own little one bedroom house... a
shack really, but it was ours.
Shortly after
that I found a job, and was having fun and would
much rather be at work than at home, because my
husband started beating me again, and dealing
drugs.
One night I just
got fed up with the whole deal, and left.
Well here comes the cavalry and my mom talked us
into getting back together. WHAT A MISTAKE!
We then, found a
source with Farmer's Home Administration where we
could get a house built and have government
subsidized payments on the house.
We moved back in
with my parents while the house was being built.
Then we moved into the house.
Right after we
moved in my husband, once again, quit his job and
demanded that I go to work. So I went to
work for a convenience store on graveyard shift
again.
He started
beating me and my son at this point. He
would beat the hell out of me so bad sometimes
that I went to work with bruises from head to toe.
And he would beat Chris if he even made a peep.
And decided that
I would go to business school some way, if it
killed me! So I found a business college,
and I got a student loan to go to school.
And I was not going to let my husband make me quit
again!
We had one car,
and at first I would 1) go to work; 2) come home
in the morning and take a shower; 3) go to school
for 8 hours; 4) come home and sleep!
My husband
finally found a job, so that changed the routine.
I would 1) get up take a shower; 2) take Chris to
daycare; 3) take my husband to work; 4) go to
school 8 hours; 5)pick Chris up from daycare;
6) come home and sleep, after husband got a ride
home to take care of Chris. He got a ride
home with someone else. That was a horrible
schedule, and I was soooo tired!
One day I got up
to go to work, and my husband was not there, and
the car was gone!!!! I had no way to get to
work! Or school for that matter!
He didn't come
home until the next day, and I lost my job.
AND, he told me I had to quit school! Well,
we argued over that and he beat me severely.
But I found a way to get to school. I was
determined!
Shortly
after that when Chris was 18 months old, my
husband beat my son with a broken boat paddle on
bare skin and bruised him from the middle of his
back down to his knees! For pooping in his
training pants!
THAT
WAS IT! I could at least try to defend
myself, but an 18 month old child cannot defend
himself! I left, and took the car! My
mother did not intervene this time! The
night the beating occurred, my mother took
pictures of the bruises, and we picked splinters
out of his little booty for several hours.
He just cried, and cried, and cried!
After the 1st
Divorce
My mom went and
developed the pictures, and we had a time getting
the developer to give us the pictures, 'cause they
were of a naked baby with bruises from head to
toe. But when we explained that we were
taking them to the police, they let us have them.
After we filed the report, the Sheriff called
Child Protective Services, who in turn contacted
me. They told me if I every let my husband
come around my child without supervision, they
would take him away. Well THAT was a no
brainer!
So, we lived with
my parents, and I went to school... and finished
business school! And half-way through the 1
year that it took me to graduate from a 2 year
program, I went to work for my mentor who taught
me how to program his software through the
"baptism of fire method"! He said,
"Here's the manual; here's what I want; DO
IT!" THAT was a hair raising
experience!
Amazingly, my son
started talking immediately after we moved in with
my parents, and we just about couldn't get him to
stop! He had not learned to talk while we
lived with my husband, I'd imagine because every
time he made a peep, his dad would beat him
severely!
My mother
co-signed for me a loan, and I filed for divorce,
and my attorney advised that I make as many
friends with big burly guys with guns and badges
that I could find. So I did! And I
took my estranged husband to court for non-payment
of child support several times before he
disappeared! Every time we would find him,
he would run. He has worked under the table
for the past 19 years, and I judgment after
judgment on him. Last toll, he owed me
$40,000+ in child support, and that was when my
son was 16. I knew I would never see a dime
of child support, but I thought that he needed to
be called to account for not supporting his child,
and I pursued it until the end.
That was my FIRST
ever purposeful dealing with the POLICE! I
was a handful when I was in my teens...
Just before I got
out of school, I was hanging out with one of my
police buddies while he was working an extra job.
This old Junker car pulls up and he talks to this
awful looking, dirty, hairy, scruffy man for about
15 minutes, and they kept looking at me.
This of course made me very nervous. I had
seen this man before.... After the
dreadful fellow left, my friend returned to me and
asked if I knew that guy. I said, "yes,
he used to come over to my house and hang out with
my husband."
He
proceeded to tell me that the scruffy fellow was
an under cover officer in the narcotics bureau,
and he had been investigating my estranged husband
for cocaine distribution!!!! I nearly had a
heart attack!!!! And certainly DID, have an
anxiety attack!!! My life flashed before my
eyes, and I could see all the times that I had
been there with them in my house!!! All
those times, I could have been put in jail for
just being there, and they could have taken my
child!!!!
SO, that was the
day I decided that I wanted to be as far away from
that kind of life as possible!
I had finished
business school, and was working a day job doing
data entry at a local fabrication company, and I
was working for my mentor.
In 1985, I
decided I would go to college! AND I was
DETERMINED not to EVER EVER, NEED a man to support
me EVER!!!
So, I enrolled at
LSU-Shreveport! My major was Computer
Science, but I also double majored in Criminal
Justice! My DREAM was to go to work for the
FBI at the Crime Lab, and us my computer knowledge
there.
It took me 6
years to graduate from LSU-Shreveport. Much
of that time I worked full-time, and went to
school 3 classes a semester, and I took care of my
son. But MOST of the time, I worked a
student job in the computer department, and went
to school full-time, and studied and took care of
my son.
The first
semester of my Junior year, my precious Father,
told me that I needed to quit school, and find a
husband, 'cause my son needed a Daddy! Well,
can you just imagine how angry that made me.
I asked him if he had any candidates. And
flatly told him I WOULD NOT
QUIT SCHOOL!
But from then on,
I was on a suicidal course trying to get out of
school as soon as possible. I got permission
to take 21 hours, that's 7 classes, and you have
to have special permission to take more than 15
hours. What that comes out to is 21 hours a
week in the class room, and an average of 7 hours
a day studying. Then when you figure in the
student job, that comes to 17
hours a day on average, of hard at it, on task
WORK!!! Plus, I had a small child to take
care of on top of that.
Sadly, the TV
became the babysitter!
The FIRST CREDIT
DINGS!
Just after I had
started college, I got a job through a temporary
service working for a local utility company doing
some programming. The job paid well, but had
no benefits. I was hoping that they would
hire me on, but instead after 2 years of working
for them, they let me go! I
was devastated! I had moved into my
own apartment, and was exhausted but happy for the
most part. Right before I left, I got served
with papers that my house (which my husband was
ordered to pay for) was being foreclosed on.
I checked on the
status, and found out what the arrears were on it,
but couldn't get the government to let me take
over the house. So they foreclosed.
Shortly after that, the agency that carried the
car note (which my husband was ordered to pay),
repossessed my car. And they would not allow
me to do a voluntary repossession because they
could not get my estranged husband to sign the
papers. So, I was officially sued for that.
TWO
HUGE DINGS ON MY CREDIT!!!!!
The NEXT
DISASTER!
Then I met this
guy at church and we became friends, and his kids
loved me, and I loved them. And my son loved
him, and visa-versa.
We were really
good friends, and hung out a lot together, but I
had absolutely NOT physical attraction to this man
AT ALL. I let him talk me into getting
married, and I prayed to GOD that he would bring
about a change in me to where or marriage would
work. MISTAKE, BIG MISTAKE!
I knew the day
that I married him that it was not going to work.
Especially when it came to the honeymoon!
Anyway, I was
determined to stick it out, and let God do His
thing. Well, everything went to "Hell
in a Hand Basket" after that.
His daughter
decided that I was her enemy, and was verbally
abusing me and her dad would not do anything about
it. She also started abusing her brother and
my son. She even got to the point where she
would grab them by their genitals and literally
sling them around the room by it.
They were so scared of her, and I had absolutely
no control over her, because her dad undermined
me. I got fed up and was ready to leave.
But
2 months before my graduation, I found out I was
pregnant. What a BLOW! And we were
using contraceptives... Molly, bless her heart, is
a TROJAN™ HORSE!!! Oh, that's an awful
joke!
We argued about
me being pregnant, he told me if I didn't want it
to have an abortion... sort of like a dare.
I just couldn't do that! So, I prayed, and I
stayed for Molly's sake.
During the short
time we were married, my second husband turned out
to be the type of person who would not even take
care of basic needs. He could not hold a
job. He would not support me with the
children. He just kind of dumped his kids on
me, and decided not to discipline them. He
would not work on the home repairs that we got a
loan for... the materials just sat there in the
box. He would not even mow the yard!
We lived on Caddo
Lake at the time, and there are LOTS
OF POISONOUS SNAKES in Louisiana, especially close
to lakes.
I was pregnant,
and on bed rest because I had broken my hip during
pregnancy. One day, I hobbled my way into
the kitchen and onto the porch where the fridge
was (the kitchen wasn't big enough for the
fridge). As I was out there, I glanced out
the door. I raised Persian cats at the time,
and I had acquired 4 large cages that needed to be
repaired before they could be used. These
cages were approximately 3' high x 8' wide x 5'
deep. The cages were in the back yard
sitting end up so the cages were 5' high. As
I looked out the back door, I could not even see
the cages, the grass was so high!!!
I burst into
tears, hormones cause some of it, but frustration
and exasperation was the biggest reason for the
crying. I realized that I have absolutely NO
RESPECT for a man who will not put forth any
effort to take care of the basic needs of life.
I called my dad in tears, and he came and mowed my
yard, and gave my husband a tongue lashing!
After, Molly was
born, I could only take it for 8 months more.
He wouldn't work, he would help with HIS kids...
it was awful!
His daughter was
verbally abusing me and physically abusing my son,
and I would just hide in my room because I could
not get a handle on it. Finally, I left!!!!
I was SO miserable, that I couldn't even associate
with another human being. I
was working, and he wouldn't even try to hold a
job. My income, at the time $19K, was
supporting us (two adults, a baby, two 10 year
olds, and a 12 year old)... Well, I
hesitate to say it supported us... we subsisted on
it.
The NEXT DINGS
on CREDIT... and Recovery...
I lived in a
friend of mine's house for a few months and paid
her house payments while she was living elsewhere.
Then she came back, and I moved in with my parents
again. How many boom-a-rangs is that now?
Four (4) now!!!!
After about 6
months living with my parents... which was very
difficult with 2 kids in tow. I moved into
my own apartment, and got both my kids into
private school on scholarships.
Got my divorce,
and my husband neglected to take care of the bill
for some plumbing work that we had done on moving
into our house, so all of the sudden I get notice
from the plumbing company that they were going to
sue. Since I was the one who signed the work
order, they were coming after me. So I had
no alternative but to file Bankruptcy Chapter 7.
ANOTHER BIG DING ON MY CREDIT!!!!
The Bankruptcy
took care of everything but the Student Loans.
$34K worth of them, that were in forbearance.
I had a good job
(I thought), with benefits, with the local
government, as a mainframe computer programmer.
I worked really hard, and the users (city
employees) really liked me and my work. Then
I was assigned to some projects programming PCs
because I was the only one on staff that knew
anything about PCs. So I did some cool
project with kiosks, and touch screen and
databases.
Then I was
recruited to train to be the backup LAN Manager
for the City. All this while I am still
carrying my FULL PROGRAMMING LOAD. Boy, that
was exhausting!
One day though,
the LAN Manger was off at Desert Storm, and the
servers crashed, and I had to drop what I was
doing (PROGRAMMING), to go fix the servers.
When I returned my programming supervisor chewed
me up one side and down the other, for leaving my
office to go DO MY JOB!
So I stormed like
a bull in a china closet into the Director's
office and vehemently exclaimed that I was no
longer willing to be a DOG BONE, and for him to
decide which he wanted me to do... PROGRAM or
NETWORK MANAGEMENT!!! He decided on the
latter, and shortly afterward re-evaluated my
position and gave me a 4 step raise! Oh I
was excited!!!!
The LOSS of a
DREAM...
So now, I was
making $27K a year. There were two network
managers and one technician supporting 1,000
computers!!!! WE WERE WIPED OUT!!!!
Things were getting so tough, that I decided it
might be best if I found more favorable employ.
I was so tired that I decided it was time to try
to follow my DREAM of working for the FBI!
I submitted the
application, took the test, was told by them to
prepare to take the P.T. test because they were
intending to hire me. I could SEE my DREAM
within reach!!!
I started
training, and I was running one day and tore the
cartilage in my knee, requiring surgery. But
as soon as I was released, I started running
again, training for the P.T.
Then one HORRIBLE
DAY, the recruiter called me, and told me during
the background check they had evaluated my
association with my X-Husband who was a drug
dealer and decided not to hire me because of it.
MY
DREAM went
whirling down the drain!!!! I WAS
DEVASTATED!!!!
The next day, the
new technician we had hired broke through my CLOUD
OF DESPAIR, and got me talking about what was
bugging me! He sympathized and listened to
me for hours. After that, we became fast
friends! We were a lot like Siamese-twins
joined at the hip. We worked together, we
played together, we were in a counseling group
together, we ate together. We were
inseparable except to go home and sleep.
My supervisor
(the LAN Manager), once again got called up for
military duty in Bosnia this time. And I had
to take over his job, while he was gone.
That's where things got messy.
I
"officially" had his responsibilities,
but I was assigned to another supervisor.
This supervisor had access to all of the problem
reports that came in for the LAN (network).
Several times, he intercepted my problem reports
and did not give them to me until someone called
about them. It was looking like it was my
fault the problems were not taken care of.
So I once again approached the Director with the
problem. Well, this seriously offended my
supervisor... I stepped hard on his toes
apparently.
I found out then
that this man was paranoid and malicious. He
began to harass me and undermine me, and did so
the entire time that my "boss" was on
active duty. When my boss returned, and I
was returned to his authority, this other manager,
decided he would talk the Director into running us
all out of "dodge".
They began first
with my boss. It took them 6 months for him
to get enough of it, and he finally quit.
Then they started on me. They had me
interview and train not 1 but 2 new LAN managers,
and never once offered me the position.
Then they started
intercepting trouble tickets, riding me about
computers, and network, and software problem.
Making me work oodles of over-time. It
finally got to the point that I had an ulcer, and
was getting migraines every other week.
FINALLY, when I
was off at the hospital getting a shot for a
migraine, this malicious manager, talked the
Director into trying to fire me. They went
through all my emails (these people should not
have had a security level to access that), and my
desk and everything in my office trying to find
some reason to fire me. When I returned, my
old programming supervisor informed me of what
they were doing. I had had enough, and it
was a health situation now, so I tendered my
resignation after 6.5 years with them.
This malicious
manager was on vacation when I tendered my
resignation, so when he returned I asked him if we
could have a meeting. So, we went to the
conference room and shut the door.
He began by
asking if he had bad B.O. because everybody was
leaving. I did not find humor in that at
all.
I explained that
I didn't know what happened with us because we
were friends in the beginning...
He cut me off and
said, "What? You're tired of me
harassing you? If it's any consolation, I
harass everybody!"
OH, how I wish I
would have had a tape recorder in my pocket!
He would have been fired, and I would have my job
back!
During my last
two weeks I detected some naughty things that the
LAN Manager I was training was doing, and I
reported them to the Director, and the man was
escorted from the building and not invited to
return. So the LAN Manager position was open
again. I approached the Director and told
him if he would give me the job, I would withdraw
my resignation. He declined!
Healing and
Starting Over.
So I left!
I collected my retirement; paid off my car; and
took a 3 month vacation to take care of myself and
heal.
Then I started
looking for contract work. I approached one
of the police officers that I had supported while
working for the City, and asked him to write me a
recommendation letter. I went to pick it up
from him that afternoon, and sitting there in his
office, I just SOBBED! I could not help it.
He had written me
such a recommendation letter! It was worthy
of framing! He explained at great length the
quality of my work, and went into great detail
about what he knew (which was a lot) about the
harassment that I endured the last few years I
worked at the City. I wanted to FRAME THAT
LETTER! I was so touched! He affirmed
me in such a way that I can't even express it in
words.
So, I went off
happily with my jewel of a letter, and proceeded
to work on contract for the State of Louisiana
installing some computers. In December 1997,
I moved into a town house, and signed a lease
purchase agreement on the house. It was a
great house. My kids and I loved it!
During the middle
of that process, Steve (the office that wrote the
letter) called me up and told me that the
Non-Profit Organization that he was Operations
Manager over, had just been approved for a 3
MILLION DOLLAR GRANT, and would I like to be their
SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR!!!!!
He said they
didn't have the money yet, but as soon as they got
it he wanted to hire me!!!! AND THERE
I SAW A REPLACEMENT DREAM!!!!! I had wanted so
much to use my skills in law enforcement, and that
dream died when the FBI refused me. God had
dropped this job in my lap! Then he asked me
how much I wanted, and I told him, and he said OK!
I nearly DOUBLED
my salary!
I had been
working a full-time job for years, and trying to
get going with a couple of MLM's for the past 3
years, and was having a net loss every year.
But I kept trying.
Now this AWESOME organization,
whose mission I really believed in, WANTED ME!!!!!
THEY WANTED ME!!!!!!
I was so ecstatic
that I nearly had to put paper on the floor in
case I had an accident!!!!!!
This ORGANIZATION
is called Regional Police Information Service I (RPIS)
(pronounced âr-pïs)! They hired me on a
two-year contract in 1998, and told me that I
would be employed by them as long as they could
maintain funding! uh... unless I committed a
major crime!
RPIS is an
ORGANIZATION that was put together to share
information between local law enforcement agencies
in an effort to APPREHEND DRUG TRAFFICKERS that
cross jurisdictional boundaries the
Arkansas-Louisiana-Texas Tri-State area!
Isn't that the MOST
IRONIC thing you've ever seen?!? I
was married
to a DRUG
DEALER! DENIED
by the FBI because my
x-husband was a DRUG DEALER!
NOW I'm WORKING
FOR a LAW ENFORCEMENT
ORGANIZATION that APPREHENDS
DRUG DEALERS!!!!!!
MY
GOD IS SUCH A MERCIFUL and BENEVOLENT GOD!!!!
What GRACE, he had bestowed upon me! I cried
for JOY!!!!
RPIS has such a
meaningful purpose that we all thought surely that
we could always get funding to keep going. I
was on a NATURAL HIGH!
While I had been
gone from the City, that malicious manager had run
off one of the technicians who went to work for
911. The only one of the four of us that was
left was my best friend. And they were
harassing him now.
Six months after
I went to work for RPIS, I pushed through an
approval to hire my friend away from the City of
Shreveport, and increase his income drastically.
So
now, all four of us were gone from the City!
The City replaced the four of us with SIXTEEN,
that's right SIXTEEN (16) PEOPLE!!!!!!
And... they have gone through 4 more LAN
Managers since then!
Here we go
AGAIN!
In March or 1998,
the town house, that I had a lease/option on, was
involved in the bankruptcy of its owner, and I was
unable to stay in the house. So, I tried
really hard to buy a house, but with the DINGS on
my CREDIT, I was unable to find anything.
I finally came
across Oakwood Homes, and they told me they would
finance a repossessed home for me if I could come
up with $5,000 down. So I turned my life
upside down, and coughed up $5,000, and they sold
me a 1991, 16' x 60', 3-bedroom, 2-bath trailer.
At the time I thought that was awesome!!!! I
moved in.....
And the next
weekend, my mentor died of a stroke!!!! What
a jolt. My kids and I still aren't over
that. I had promised Jerry that I would do
whatever was in my power to take care of his 12
year old niece.
Shortly after
that, she was sexually abused by her mother's
boyfriend, and she came to live with me for a
while. It was really sad. So, because
of my promise to Jerry, I did what I could to keep
her in my care. And I was not getting foster
parent monies from the State! She lived with
me for about 6 months.
During that time,
I was doing so well, that I bought a new car.
Amazingly, my Credit Union financed it because I
had paid off another care with them.
In 2000, the
administrators of the RPIS money in Washington
D.C. decided that they would not approve the
salaries for my best friend anymore, so they let
him go... I hurt me deeply to watch them do
that to him after I had gone to such great lengths
to rescue him from the "snakes" at the
City!
A couple of years
ago, my Oakwood Home started falling apart!
The floors started rotting, the central a/c went
out (and it's HOT in Louisiana).
I have not been
able to replace the central a/c, it is not
repairable, that's $2,400. Nor have I been
able to fix the floors. It will cost about
$5,000 to fix the kitchen floor and replace the
cabinets that have to be torn out to fix it...
fix the rotted floor in front of the front door...
and one of the bathroom floors, and the floor in
my daughter's room.
The floor by the
back door completely fell out, and my son and I
got some plywood and 2 x 4's and fixed that
ourselves. Not very QUALITY work! But we had
to do something.
Now, I owe
$18,000 on this 16' x 60' TIN CAN manufactured by
OAKWOOD HOMES! The loan is at 12.99%
interest, and I have 7.5 more years to pay on it.
The trailer, if the repairs were done ($7,400),
would be worth about $10,000, and no bank would
finance it. I'd have to find a CASH buyer.
So that equation works out to: $18,000 Loan
Balance + $7,400 repairs - $10,000 value = <-$15,400>
If I don't do repairs on the thing and keep it the
equation looks like this: $18,000 Loan Balance -
$2,000 value = <-$16,000>
This
trailer was a VERY BAD PURCHASE! DON'T BUY
AN OAKWOOD HOME'S SINGLE WIDE EVER!!!!! And
don't finance anything through OAKWOOD HOMES!!!
I don't care how bad your credit is! DON'T
DO IT!!!! LIVE IN A SHOTGUN SHACK IF YOU
HAVE TO!
The New DREAM
NOT Turning out So BRIGHT!
Well, in 2002.
RPIS has 37 sites online and sharing information.
The funding was running dangerously low, and we
started seeking funding.
We had a couple
of board meetings and assigned officers to go
after their representatives in their respective
states to support RPIS and ask that we be
refunded.
Well, the
President of the Board, finally got Mary
Landrieu's Office (State of Louisiana) to agree to
present it in Washington, D.C. We submitted
our budget and other documents, then we waited,
and waited, and waited...
Medical and
Family Emergency!
In April, 2003, I
had to take off work for 4 months to have four
major surgeries at the same time. I had a
prolapsed bladder, a prolapsed rectum, and a
prolapsed uterus. This required complete
hysterectomy, bladder repair, and rectal and
vaginal wall repairs.
During that time,
I got severely behind on my bills, all of them.
Thus putting a HUGE DING ON MY CREDIT AGAIN!
My Student Loans
which I had managed to keep in forbearance all
this time now totaled $45,000, and there were no
more forbearances available for them. So
they got behind also, making a BIGGER DING ON MY
CREDIT!
While I was
recovering, a friend of mine did not have a place
to live or a job, and he asked me if he could come
stay with me for two months while he cleared up a
court case that was pending. Then he would
find a job and get a car and move on!
The night he
called I was consoling a friend of mine who was/is
an abused spouse who had just left her husband!
I didn't know how long she would be staying with
me, and I was a little out of my head on pain
pills from the surgery, so I just blurted out
SURE, COME ON OVER, THE MORE THE MERRIER!!!!
So then there
were 5 of us living in my house temporarily (900
sq. ft. for 4 adults and one pre-teen, and 3
cats)! Talk about over populated lab rats!
In a house that was falling apart!
My girlfriend was
only with us for a few days, but my other
friend... His 2 months was a REALLY LONG 2
months.... I totally supported him...
Food, Shelter, Smokes, Utilities, Phone, Internet
Service.... For 6 LONG MONTHS, of him
sleeping on my couch!!!!!
And every other
weekend I let him have his 2 small rowdy boys, and
one teenage boy over for the weekend. When I
would feed them, take care of them and medicate
them when his X would bring them over with a 102
temperature! Gosh this was reminiscent of my
last marriage!
I finally had to
ask him to make other arrangements and go live
somewhere else.
September 30,
2003 rolled around, and the President of the Board
tried to contact Mary Landrieu's Office.
They would not return his calls, or respond to his
emails. So the President of the Board GAVE
UP!
NOW
WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?!?
I was now the ONLY
PERSON INTERESTED in finding funding for
RPIS, and that's because I'm the ONLY
EMPLOYEE, and the GRANT
MONEY PAYS MY SALARY!!!!!!
I started looking
for funding then, and it "seemed" like
we "should" be able to find some
funding. Especially since we has started
tracking gangs and terrorists (persons of
interest) with our RPIS databases. Surely
there should be some homeland defense money out
there for us since 9-11! But NO...
There is either no funding for on going
maintenance of a program, or I have not been able
to find the correct door to knock on!
I have been
looking since September of 2002, and even harder
since September 2003! I cannot find it!
In February 2004,
my daughter Molly became suicidal requiring a 2
week hospital stay, and follow-up counseling.
The hospital was $5,200, and the counseling is $70
a week... indefinitely!
REGROUP!
In May 2004, I
was opening my mail at HOME, and discovered an ad
for National Grants Conferences, and decided to
check it out. I went to their seminar (all
the while bearing in mind that the RPIS bank
account only has $500 in it.) It was such a
GREAT DEAL, that I reached into my PERSONAL BANK
ACCOUNT and paid the $950 for the lifetime
membership!
I did not tell
anyone with RPIS that I had done this. After
doing this, I spoke with Steve (that wonderful
police officer who wrote the GLOWING
recommendation letter for me and later became my
boss), and he suggested that I start spending some
time looking for other employ because it looked
like RPIS would go under, and he didn't want to
see anything bad happen to me.
So I went to the
National Grants Conferences Training on June 9,
2004! And I was completely inspired. I
had decided that I would find funding for my own
internet ecommerce business through NGC since time
was so short for funding RPIS. Then I would
talk to a CPA, after I got my business going,
about DONATING my professional time to RPIS, and
taking it off my taxes. I believe so much in
RPIS that my heart aches to see it dissolve!
I want to see it succeed, there is such a need for
it. CRIME---
Drugs, Gangs, Terrorists NEVER GO AWAY!
THERE IS A NEED FOR RPIS OUT THERE! SO I
WANT TO SUPPORT THEM EVEN IF THEY CAN'T PAY ME!
My Aunt went to
the last day of NGC Training with me and she was
also INSPIRED!
I believe in my
GOD, and I pray to Him often. And I had been
praying specifically about the funding, and my
business. I just got a big fat NOTHING about
RPIS funding, but felt a leading toward
establishing my own business. The last day
of NGC Training the LORD impressed upon me that I
was supposed to include my Aunt in the business
with me.
I discovered
during the training that you CANNOT GET A GRANT TO
START A BUSINESS! There are LOAN PROGRAMS
for STARTING A BUSINESS! BUT..... You
have to be able to QUALIFY FOR THE LOAN and that
is based on YOUR CREDIT! In this case, MY
CREDIT!
Well, I have
really cruddy credit, and my aunt has filed for
bankruptcy also.
The VENTURE!
So I've been
dipping into my pocket.... $100 here, $50 there,
$97 here, $197 there, $248 for three month here,
$39.95 a month there... to get this business
going... there is self-study courses,
tutorials, ebooks, etc. web hosting,
internet service, advertising costs, etc... you
name it I have thrown money at it!
I'm learning a
lot and I'm learning fast because I have to.
I'd love to have a mentor who has already been
successful at this endeavor, but they cost money.
$3,000 for one; $4,997 for another; $1,200 for
another! The really good ones are pretty
costly! But I have no money.
Current
Situation Report
Today as I sit
here:
